Archive for breaking belief barriers

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Posted in dustin hillis, Leadership Coaching, Sales Coaching, Sales Tips with tags , , , on September 27, 2012 by Dustin Hillis
Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Comparison causes stress, frustration and ultimately limits people’s belief in what they think is possible.

It takes an extreme amount of self-control and mental toughness to not compare yourself to other people. Think about it.  When was the last time you had any of the following thoughts:

  • “I would be doing much better if I had Mary’s territory”
  • “I’m doing more work than Henry and he need to pick up the pace”
  • “The only reason John is successful is because he gets special treatment by the boss”
  • “It’s not fair that Sue is getting paid as much as she is. I work just as hard if not harder than her”
  • “Nancy’s husband is so much more attentive to her needs than my husband”
  • “I wish my wife was as hot as Mike’s wife”

The hardest part of not comparing yourself to other people is the fact that we as humans are hardwired to desire what we don’t have.  Last week I was observing my 14 month old daughter playing with another girl her age. She walked right up to the little girl who was playing with a mini-shopping cart and took it from her! I thought to myself “Wow! It’s crazy that kids are naturally so selfish!  She hasn’t ever seen someone take something from another person like that.”  Being content with your current situation can be a challenge.  There is a fine balance between being content and not ambitious.

Being competitive and wanting to win is a good quality.  However, being too competitive with other people can end up being destructive. It’s okay if your goal is to be number one, if that is because you think being number one is your potential… not because you cannot stand the person who’s currently number one and you just want to beat them. When people are too competitive with other people, they tend to be territorial, selfish and frustrated with what other people are doing or not doing.

I personally believe that God has designed us to live to the potential that He has given us.  Our ambitions should come from being motivated to do our dead level best everyday.  If our goal is to beat our own personal best performance everyday, then there would be no limit to what we can do!

Here is a simple 3-step process for not comparing yourself to other people, being content with what you have and breaking your own belief barriers of what you think is possible:

1. Be Eternally Thankful
Make a list of 20 things that you love about your life.  Then tape it to your mirror and read it everyday.

2. Focus On Other People’s Strengths and Catch Other People Doing Things Right
Write down the names of the top 10 people you can think of who you have ever been mad at/ envious of/ want to have things in their life/ are jealous of/ are resentful towards, etc.  Then next to their name write down 3 qualities about that person that are admirable, respectable or things that they have done that are good.  Be intentional to look for things that everyone around you are doing right, then take the time to acknowledge them and appreciate them for doing a good job.

3. Create Self Competition
Write down your personal goals for the next year.  Base your goals on beating your personal best performance so far, not based on what someone else has done or what someone else told you what your goal should be. Then write down why they are your goals and why they are important to you.  Put your goals in big bold letters somewhere that you can see everyday.

The saying “if it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” has helped me personally overcome many, many obstacles that would have normally shut me down, caused me to quit or simply not perform up to the full potential of my God-given abilities.  Focusing on what I can bring to the table and contribute, and focusing on the good qualities of those around me and catching them doing things right has helped me be happy, consistently achieve my goals and enjoy being with the loved ones and co-workers in my life.

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